


Building Trust

by tetskuroo



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Coming Out, Family Bonding, Feelings, Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Kei has feelings and that's ok!, M/M, Supportive Brother, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23829649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tetskuroo/pseuds/tetskuroo
Summary: Kei is tired of keeping his relationship with Tetsurou a secret from his brother.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Tanaka Saeko/Tsukishima Akiteru
Comments: 3
Kudos: 166





	Building Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Just a warning for internalized homophobia and mentions of homophobia in general. Please read with caution and remember to love yourselves <3

"Akiteru honey, what's up? You've been staring at your phone for five minutes straight." Akiteru looked up from his phone to his girlfriend, her blonde hair in a messy bun on top of her head and a large spoon in her hand. 

Akiteru let his eyes flicker between she and his phone for a minute before he put his phone down on their coffee table so he could rub his eyes. "Kei texted me," he mumbled, his voice strained. 

Saeko made a face. "Why is that a big deal, haven't you guys been keeping in contact more lately?" 

"Yeah it's just -" Akiteru cut himself off, because what was he supposed to say? That Kei was being weird? He didn't really know if his younger brother was being weird, because it was hard to tell what Kei was feeling in general, especially over text, and it wasn't really weird what he had texted just a little... worrisome. "He says he needs to talk to me, and that he is coming to visit this weekend in order to do that. I asked if he was staying here, and that he was more than welcome to, but he said he wouldn't be staying the night." 

The male flopped back onto the couch, letting his hands fall into his lap. "It must be important, if he can't just talk to me about it over text, or even a call. And usually he wouldn't give me a warning, he'd just show up, so he must be thinking about it a lot." Akiteru sighed, and finally looked up to his girlfriend again. "It's just weird for Kei, and it's got me a little worried." 

Saeko hummed, because when Akiteru got into this mindset it was hard to talk him out. "How about we eat, and then we brainstorm what it could be about. Or, we can eat and after dinner I can help distract you, yeah?" 

Akiteru smiled at his girlfriend, nodded his head and stood up. There was no point stressing on what Kei needed to talk about, he'd find out that weekend and he'd deal with it then. 

*****

"So, you'll be over when?" 

Kei sighed into the phone, annoyed already with his friend's questions. "On friday, when I'm done visiting my brother. He heard from my mother that I was coming to Tokyo this weekend and demanded I see him." Not the truth, but Kei was good at bluffing. "I'll let you know when I'm leaving his apartment, they live about twenty minutes from you so that will be enough of a heads up right?" 

"Well yeah, I'm already ready for you to be here, I miss you a lot and I really just want to hug yo-"

"Goodbye, Tetsurou." 

He hung up the phone and set it in his lap before looking out the window. It was hard for him to find Tetsurou's annoying remarks endearing when he was so anxious. He sighed heavily, trying to push the thoughts out of his head so he could study for the test he was going to have on Monday. His third year was half way through, and he had to do good on his midterms to make the Tokyo colleges want him.

*****

Come Friday Kei is on a train to Tokyo, headphones over his ears and his heart hammering. He already texted Akiteru to let him know he was on his way, and he texted Tetsurou to tell him that he'd let him know when he was leaving his brother's apartment to come see him. He was staying the night with Tetsurou at his and Bokuto's shared apartment, somewhere he's stayed multiple times by now, and he was comfortable there. So far that was the only part of the day he was looking forward to. 

His hands were wringing in his lap, a habit he's had since he was a child, and though he tried to stop over and over again he couldn't manage it. It made him mad that Tetsurou could already read through it, knew the second Kei's hands met and started rubbing each other something was wrong. 

At the thought of his boyfriend Kei's heart warmed a little, before he remembered why he was going to Tokyo to see Akiteru in the first place. His heart started to clench at the though, and then his stomach was in knots and he was happy he hadn't eaten anything in the past few hours so the nausea didn't result in actual vomit. 

He tried to push the thoughts away by sending memes back and forth with Tetsurou, and telling Tadashi that he was safe, and he'd let him know when he reached Akiteru's apartment safely, with picture evidence. He rolled his eyes but smiled fondly, and didn't let the thought that this might be the last time he sees Akiteru linger in his mind. He felt his heart pang, and the sadness started burrowing its way deep into his body. 

He didn't have time to think about it, because the train was stopping at the station and he had to go have a Serious Talk with his brother. He hauled the duffle bag onto his shoulder and he left the train. The walk was extremely short to his brothers house, and he tried to go slower to give himself time to calm down.

He hadn't seen Akiteru in over two months, even though he'd been in Tokyo twice since then to see Tetsurou. Akiteru knew Tetsurou and Bokuto and Akaashi and Kenma, had met them all and even watched, and participated, in two on two volleyball games with all of them. He didn't know, however, that Tetsurou was Kei's boyfriend, had been for over a year now, and Kei didn't know how to break it to his brother. 

Akiteru was waiting outside of the apartment complex for Kei, his hands wringing together as Kei's did when he was nervous, and though he was a mess on the inside it made Kei feel a little better to know that Akiteru was nervous too, that he didn't know exactly how to be with his younger brother yet. "Kei," he said quietly upon seeing his brother, his eyebrow going up at the sight of the bag. "So you are staying the night?" He wanted to reach for the bag to carry it for his brother, but he knew he wouldn't hand it over. 

"Yeah, Bokuto and Kuroo set up some plans for the weekend and I decided I would stay to get some practice in with them." Akiteru nodded at the response, leading his younger brother into the building. 

Akiteru started talking casually about work and Saeko, everything important that has happened since they'd last seen each other. It wasn't until they made it inside that Kei truly started to panic; he couldn't escape easily anymore, couldn't just turn around and walk away without having to buy in time to open a door and leave through it, barely sliding his shoes on his feet before leaving. He was hoping it wouldn't come to that, but Kei always wanted to fucking run when he felt like this, and he was trying to get better about that. 

Akiteru could feel the anxious energy radiating from his brother, and Kei was just getting annoyed with himself because he shouldn't care this much, Akiteru's opinion shouldn't matter to him at all, but all he wanted was to have his big brother's approval where he knew he didn't have it from his parents. 

"Sit, Kei, do you want water, or something else to drink?" Kei shook his head no, not even moving to sit on the couch. Akiteru's eyebrows scruched down, his heart racing, but he wanted to just got the bad out if there was bad to get out. "Kei, what's got you so nervous?" 

"Is Saeko-San home?" 

"No, she's at work, why?" Akiteru mumbled, so confused. Kei changed immediately, his hands going together. "Kei, you're worrying me, is everything okay at home?" 

"You're gonna hate me," Kei mumbled eyes on his hands. "You're gonna hate me, and I'm going to hell, and I'm sorry, Akiteru," Kei's voice was cracking but there were no tears in his eyes, something that Akiteru was proud of because he didn't even know what was happening and his eyes were watering. 

"Kei, I could never hate you, you're such a good person, you won't be going to hell." 

Kei paused, eyes flickering around for something to focus on. "I'm so sorry, I tried to change myself, but I just can't change who I am and it's going to get me sent to hell. It's going to make you and mom and dad hate me, and I don't know how to fix it about myself. I hate myself for it, Akiteru, but," he paused, taking a deep breath to try and help himself say the next few words, "I'm gay and I can't change that about myself." A couple tears started falling from his eyes, and he wiped them away quickly - he'd not shown weakness to Akiteru in a long time, he didn't want to start now. 

Akiteru's heart was breaking and he felt a wrench in his gut, but he knew it was important to talk before Kei took it the wrong way. "Kei," Akiteru said, trying to calm his brother down, "I could never hate you, and just because you're gay doesn't mean you're going to hell. You're a good person an-"

"But the bible says-"

"Who cares what the bible says? The bible also says no premarital sex, no work on Sundays, no mixed fabrics, and if people followed that everybody would be in hell. You liking the same gender doesn't make you a different person, Kei. You're still my little brother, the same as you've always been to me." 

Kei looked at Akiteru, the saddest look Akiteru had ever seen on his little brother's face. "I'm so scared to tell anyone, but I had to tell you. If you keep hanging out with me and Tetsurou, then I need you to know; while I'm not into PDA I don't want to keep him hidden from the people I care about anymore." 

"Wait, you and Kuroo??" 

Kei nodded, looking down a little embarrassed. Thinking about Tetsurou made him feel warm, as fucking gross as he thought that was, but he wasn't going to deny it now when he was already cried a little in front of Akiteru. "Yeah, for over a year now." 

Akiteru smiled wide, trying to take in the information. "I'm so glad that you found someone that makes you happy, but Kuroo definitely doesn't seem like your type," Akiteru finished with a laugh, before realizing his mistake. "Not because he is a male! Just because he is so... I don't know how to word it without sounding like an ass, but he talks back to you a lot and loves to push your buttons, which doesn't seem like something you would want to put up with." 

Kei didn't know what to say, was finally calming down from the panic that took him over a moment before, and rushing through all of the things that just happened. He couldn't even think of what Akiteru had said of Tetsurou, he was only just being hit with the though that Akiteru didn't hate him. "Wait, you're not mad at me? You don't want to change me? You don't hate me?" 

Akiteru's heart clenched, "Kei, there isn't anything wrong with you at all, you're a great person, and you're dating a person you care about, I'm proud of you for those things. I couldn't hate you at all, especially not for something you can't control." Kei finally sat down, all of the tension leaving his body and a large sigh escaping him. "We should, however," Akiteru started, his face and tone serious again, "talk about how you're feeling about this - you seem to have a lot of negative feelings with yourself about this, and I don't want you to hate yourself for something that you can't change." 

And, though it made him anxious, Kei spoke to his brother about how he was feeling, how he had harbored these feelings his entire life alone, trying to figure it out and change himself. His entire family, aside from his brother as he had just learned, didn't believe in being gay as a thing, thought it was a choice. His parents were always preaching the words of the bible to him, how same-sex marraige wasn't okay. They were always telling Kei they couldn't wait for the days he'd have a beautiful wife and children, and it broke his heart to know he would never be able to provide his family with those things. 

Akiteru helped him sort through his feelings, told him that everthing he was feeling was understandable but he didn't have to feel that way anymore, because he had his brother to support him, and Saeko too. Ontop of that he had an amazing boyfriend and a huge group of friends that all supported him too. Though Kei had always been grateful for his friends, he was glad to hear that his brother appreciated them all as Kei did. 

In the end he was at Akiteru's house for about two hours, and he felt better about his relationship with his brother than he had in a long time. On his way out his brother picked him up into a big hug, mumbling that he loved Kei even though those words were awkward for them - a close relationship was unknown territory for them now, but they were trying. 

"Hey," he mumbled into his phone walking down the street. "I'm on my way, is that okay?" 

"Of course it is, Kei, I've been sitting here like a damsel in distress waiting for you to call me!" 

Kei rolled his eyes but smiled, a warm feeling in his heart. 

*****

The walk was short, but it gave Kei time to sort out his mind, let the realization settle in that Akiteru didn't hate him, he didn't want him gone, didn't think Kei was going to hell. It made him feel good, even with the headache that was beginning to form because of all the immense moodswings he had. Thinking of how emotional he had been makes him cringe a little, but he let the feeling of pride overcome it; he faced his fears, talked to his brother about his problems, about his insecurities, and it was a step closer to them having an actual relationship again, one where they could trust each other and talk to each other again. 

Stepping into the apartment building that Tetsurou and Bokuto lived in gave Kei a sense of relief, by the time he was knocking on the door he was finally calming down. The final straw broke when Tetsurou opened the door, a large smile on his face, and immediately wrapped Kei in a hug. He felt the rest of the tension leave him, his shoulders relaxing and a deep breath leaving him.

Tetsu pulled back to say something, the large smile on his face until he saw Kei's face. "Hey, you look like you were crying are you okay?" 

And Kei didn't want to admit it, because he had never cried in front of Tetsurou, but he let himself nod, averting his eyes. "I'm fine, I'll tell you about it later," he mumbled, leaning back into Tetsurou, surprising the older male. Kei was like every other human, and liked hugs and affection, but he very, very rarely was the one to initiate it. "Can we go lie down for now?" 

Tetsurou wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, growing concerned. "You sure you're ok, Kei?" he mumbled.

"Honestly, I'm better than I have been in a while, I'm just," he moved back and let his bag fall off of his shoulder, "exhausted. I think lying down for a while will help me." 

Tetsurou smiled at his boyfriend, eyes shining. "Shall I carry you?" 

"Try it and I'll go sleep in Bokuto-San's bed." 

"Copy that!" 

They made it Tetsurou's room and settled in his bed, staring in each other's eyes with their limbs tangled together. It was fifteen minutes in that Kei finally spoke. "I told Akiteru about us," he admitted after closing his eyes. 

"Oh Kei," Tetsurou mumbled, trying to sit up. 

Kei held him down, a small smile growing on his lips. "It went really well." 

"Oh," Tetsu mumbled, surprised.

"Mmhmm," Kei peeked one eye open, not able to see well without his glasses on. "He said he is happy that I found someone that makes me happy, even though he says you don't seem like my type." 

"And why is that?" Tetsurou asked, too loudly for the situation they were in, so close in the bed. 

"Because you're loud and annoying," Kei mumbled, a smirk crossing his lips at Tetsurou's immediate rebuttle. 

"Well you must like it because you've stayed with me for so long!" 

Kei let the smirk fade into a real smile, "Yeah, I guess I do like you." 

That shut Tetsurou up, and blush rising to his cheeks. He was quiet for a moment, just admiring Kei, before the most real, adoring smile crossed his face. He kissed Kei, a slow, soft kiss, before pulling away. He looked at Kei with awe, and the blonde almost couldn't handle all the emotions he was feeling right now. "You're being awfuly nice to me today." 

Kei smiled, and pressed a quick kiss to Tetsu's lips. "Don't get used to it." 


End file.
